i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
