Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
dude. I can hear the air.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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