My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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