:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
