Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
