I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
