it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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