I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
wow bdsm is so cute
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
