im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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