Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
