This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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