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Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We have started to decorate penises.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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