Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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