I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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