Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is classic penis vs brain.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
