I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My breasts were aching with rage.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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