I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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