playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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