Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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