Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
