New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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