I'm jealous of your bromance
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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