A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every concussion has its silver lining
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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