he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
