Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
