You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
