when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
