So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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