Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
