It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
birth control should be required to get into college
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
