I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
