PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
