I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
