I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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