I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
