Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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