I wish i was in the wii world.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we're making bets on your personal life
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
