Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
