He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
