I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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