his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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