Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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