Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
