You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
