so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
