we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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