Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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