Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
