Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
