I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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