he thought i was a dude.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
