So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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