Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
