I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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