This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
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You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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