I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
