Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
