I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
