where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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