I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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