YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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