Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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