he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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