these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
