I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
