How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
