just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
