I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
